Anti binge-watching tip

Today’s idea comes from one of my clients. She uses watching series as a way to relax, but knows the danger of cliffhangers… So she decided to watch episodes a different way. She’ll watch until somewhere in the middle of an episode, and then turn it off. The next time she’ll watch the second half, plus the first half of the next episode.

I know this might not work for everyone, but there is NO anti-procrastination tip that works for everyone. So try it out if you like, maybe even several times. Your mood might make a difference, the time of the day, or the type of show you’re watching.

My clients idea made me curious: how do other people manage the seduction of binge watching? Please share your tips, they may help others!

 

How small is a bite sized chunk?

I wondered about this when I thought about my last post, and how I chose to publish it before it was finished. Frog first, the rest later. That rest hasn’t happened yet. Still the post has been very effective for me. I wanted to practice sharing with the world that I have a GoFundMe page, to help me raise money for my tuition this year. I’ve shared it here, and I’ve dared to share it in more places since then.

How is this related to bite sized chunks? It’s a tip that can really help in getting things done, because we tend to procrastinate on daunting things a lot more than on things that seem manageable. But there’s no clear reference point for what bite sized is. It will be different, depending on the subject, your physical well-being, your emotions… You can only learn it by self observance. Trial and error.

Here’s a link to a worksheet from my course called “From Do it Later to Do it Now in Ten Days”: Bite sized chunks The starting point for bite-sized used there, is time. But there are many different starting points, depending on the type of thing you want to get started on:
– number of pages
– number of words
– manageable amount of fear
– manageable amount of negative responses

I’ll add more when I think of more, but I’m tired now after a day filled with emotions yesterday.

For me, sharing that GoFundMe page without making it a great blogpost was the amount of stress I could deal with at that moment. So that’s what I did. I fully intend to write that longer blog post later. It’s going to be interesting for me, and hopefully useful for you as a reader, to see how different triggers for procrastination were playing up. Because understanding what’s happening, makes it easier to find a way to get it done – AND, in my opinion even more importantly, to transform the things that are holding you back into something else. Maybe even something that helps you move forward…

This blog is a bite sized chunk for me too. I have my “official website”, where I feel everything should look profesional. No typos, no grammar mistakes, no sentences that are too long or clumsy, or thoughts that aren’t clear yet. Here I allow myself to be more relaxed. If I make those mistakes, I can sort them out later. At least the post will be written already. And maybe touch the heart or brain of someone who’s looking for ideas, inspiration, or space to be more gentle with themselves.

Scary thing first

Okay, to practice what one of the things I preach (eat the frog) I’m choosing scary thing first. Here’s what I find hard to share, a GoFundMe page that a friend made for me:

My immensely talented friend Angela Van Son is a coach and counselor who could use a hand right now. After an accident in July, she’s lost her income, so is unable to pay her upcoming tuition. Her education in Psychoenergetics is integral to her goal of “supporting people where they don’t dare to go alone.” This coursework focuses on deep healing.

If I write the explanation of why I find this scary first, I’m going to be procrastinating on this post like mad. So, link first, explanation later. I’ll tie it to triggers and causes for procrastination, so it will hopefully be an educational post 🙂

Now that the first bit is done, I wonder if I’ll choose to create my #ThursdayDoor post first, at my writing blog, because that’s fun. Or if I will dive more deeply into why sharing a site that says I need help makes me nervous on so many levels…

New clients as a birthday present

How would that work? I don’t know. But since marketing is my favourite thing to procrastinate on, and celebrating my birthday is something I love to do, this is it. I’m asking for new clients for my birthday. To work on procrastination, or to work on anything else. Because it’s wonderful to not have to do everything on your own, and it’s wonderful to get past blocks and disliking yourself and other things that are bothering us, haunting us – or calling from within.

I say ‘us’, because I’m human 🙂 And because I work with a wonderful coach who helps me work on those things I can’t work on alone. Because they feel to scary, too difficult, too whatever. I stopped doing alone what I can’t, and it’s one of the reasons why I feel happy today, on this birthday. It’s been a while since I felt that, so I’m really, really, really grateful.

I’m copying a text from Facebook, since the link refuses to show:

No work shall be done today. It’s my birthday, and I’m spending time enjoying the day, being grateful, and sharing love with an incredible lot of nice people, many of whom I’ve met through Facebook or through http://psentraining.com/

If there’s anything I wish for all of you today, it’s to not procrastinate on taking good care of yourself, whatever that might mean. Maybe it’s saying no to someone or something. Maybe it’s saying yes to some one one or some thing.

Maybe it’s saying yes to receiving love, to being supported, to take a chance you wouldn’t normally take.

Word.

Thanks for reading! Angela

Procrastination

For me, National Poetry Writing Month makes it difficult to stay productive sometimes. The lure of reading poems, having lovely conversations with their writers, or creating something inspired by a prompt, is so… tempting! I rarely write poems about procrastination, but luckily other people do. Here’s one I enjoyed reading, and that taught me a new word (rictameter).

GibberJabber

NaPoWriMo #12
Poetry form: Rictameter

Today
I plan to be
properly productive –
not let time get away from me.
But it’s half past eight. I’ll begin at nine.
Now it’s nine-twelve. I’ll start at ten…
…And that’s how, somehow, I
got nothing done
today.


Image Credit: Procrastination by Cherry Boniu

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I probably shouldn’t admit it, but sometimes procrastinating can get really productive… Here’s what I’ve been doing instead of working on my administration: combining paintings and drawings I’ve made with poems I’ve made.

The digital work is a chore I don’t like, and I had no ambition to create these things. I tend to prefer making new things over doing something with existing stuff. But, well, hey, I wanted to postpone something else, and this (to my own surprise) was the enabling activity of my choice.

So, now I’ve made a lot of things I’m kind of satisfied with. And I’ve worked on my administration in small bits.DeathByPoetryYoudontevenknowmynamePleaseBeCareful

via New skill!

The world did not end*

* spoiler alert. It didn’t. It even got better…

I realised I made a mistake. This is what happened afterwards – the short version:

  • That’s stupid, You’re stupid! (inner critic, yelling and pointing a finger at me)
  • Get me out of here, I can’t bear it! (inner child, screaming, running in all directions trying to escape, wanting to put her fingers in her ears)
  • I realise there’s an inner drama going on (inner adult)

First response: fight that critic! (inner critic criticising inner critic).

Second response: do something nice to relax! (inner child asking for fun escape)

In the meanwhile, I was procrastinating on Facebook… Then I realised it might have something to do with the inner drama…

Me calling my inner adult.
First response: silence…
Second response: maybe…

Me calling out my inner adult from behind my frightened child: I know you are here, let’s do this together. I’ll ask you questions, you can answer.
First response: okay… (inner adult)
Second response: hey, I’m already here! (inner adult)

Me: What can you say to a stressed out parent type?
Inner adult: Thanks for the warning, I’ll take it from here. I know how to handle this.

Me: What can you say to a frightened child?
Inner adult: It know it looks unbearable, but I don’t thinks it’s that bad. Shall we go and have a look together?

Me to my inner adult: Thanks!

I’ve learned this weekend that the most natural response for human beings is to reach out and search for help. If that help doesn’t appear, then comes fight or flight mode. When that doesn’t work, then follows freeze (going numb). Over time, you adapt. If the option ‘help’ gets disappointed too often, you skip it and sooner choose for fight or fight. If that mode fails you too often in creating what you want, then freeze becomes the preferred mechanism of your brain.

If I apply that knowledge to what just happened, I learn some things:
1) Hanging around of Facebook for too long can be a sign of wanting help, or a sign of being in flight mode. It’s nice when I learn to recognise which one it it, so I can work with it. If I long for help, I can decide to ask for it.

I’ve done that one time when I was feeling really, really, really low. I asked my Facebook friends to say something nice about me because I felt crap, and I got the most heart warming responses. And I could tell they meant them, which helped me open up to the feeling that I might be more okay than what my brain was telling me.

2) If I’m in flight mode, I can give in to it – or try to find a way to make it safe to check what’s going on inside me.

In this post, looking at it through the structures of inner critic and inner child, helped me to find the safety to look from a distance and try to understand which thoughts were going on. So I could take it from there.

Now I get it, and no I want to go back to work! The mistake that triggered all this, was calling someone 15 minutes late. I’m glad that I noticed that the stress it caused me was out of proportion, and that I concluded that something was going on. Thanks to my learnings this weekend, I realised I could choose to look at both my inner critic and my inner child from the perspective of compassion. Then I could stop fighting them, and had space for my inner adult to enter the stage.

I used to thing that fighting my inner critic was the adult thing to do. I used to think that being self critical was helpful to force me to get things done. This post helped me realise that my inner adult does not fight, criticise or hide. When it’s there, it listens to the ruckus going on, and responds. And helps to make choices.

I know I should work on the lay-out of this post, but I REALLY want to get my work done. And then I REALLY want to go outside. Priorities! Many thanks if you managed to read the text anyway. The brilliant place/space where I’ve been learning the new things is: http://psentraining.com/