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New clients as a birthday present

How would that work? I don’t know. But since marketing is my favourite thing to procrastinate on, and celebrating my birthday is something I love to do, this is it. I’m asking for new clients for my birthday. To work on procrastination, or to work on anything else. Because it’s wonderful to not have to do everything on your own, and it’s wonderful to get past blocks and disliking yourself and other things that are bothering us, haunting us – or calling from within.

I say ‘us’, because I’m human 🙂 And because I work with a wonderful coach who helps me work on those things I can’t work on alone. Because they feel to scary, too difficult, too whatever. I stopped doing alone what I can’t, and it’s one of the reasons why I feel happy today, on this birthday. It’s been a while since I felt that, so I’m really, really, really grateful.

I’m copying a text from Facebook, since the link refuses to show:

No work shall be done today. It’s my birthday, and I’m spending time enjoying the day, being grateful, and sharing love with an incredible lot of nice people, many of whom I’ve met through Facebook or through http://psentraining.com/

If there’s anything I wish for all of you today, it’s to not procrastinate on taking good care of yourself, whatever that might mean. Maybe it’s saying no to someone or something. Maybe it’s saying yes to some one one or some thing.

Maybe it’s saying yes to receiving love, to being supported, to take a chance you wouldn’t normally take.

Word.

Thanks for reading! Angela

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Procrastination

For me, National Poetry Writing Month makes it difficult to stay productive sometimes. The lure of reading poems, having lovely conversations with their writers, or creating something inspired by a prompt, is so… tempting! I rarely write poems about procrastination, but luckily other people do. Here’s one I enjoyed reading, and that taught me a new word (rictameter).

GibberJabber

NaPoWriMo #12
Poetry form: Rictameter

Today
I plan to be
properly productive –
not let time get away from me.
But it’s half past eight. I’ll begin at nine.
Now it’s nine-twelve. I’ll start at ten…
…And that’s how, somehow, I
got nothing done
today.


Image Credit: Procrastination by Cherry Boniu

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I probably shouldn’t admit it, but sometimes procrastinating can get really productive… Here’s what I’ve been doing instead of working on my administration: combining paintings and drawings I’ve made with poems I’ve made.

The digital work is a chore I don’t like, and I had no ambition to create these things. I tend to prefer making new things over doing something with existing stuff. But, well, hey, I wanted to postpone something else, and this (to my own surprise) was the enabling activity of my choice.

So, now I’ve made a lot of things I’m kind of satisfied with. And I’ve worked on my administration in small bits.DeathByPoetryYoudontevenknowmynamePleaseBeCareful

via New skill!

The world did not end*

* spoiler alert. It didn’t. It even got better…

I realised I made a mistake. This is what happened afterwards – the short version:

  • That’s stupid, You’re stupid! (inner critic, yelling and pointing a finger at me)
  • Get me out of here, I can’t bear it! (inner child, screaming, running in all directions trying to escape, wanting to put her fingers in her ears)
  • I realise there’s an inner drama going on (inner adult)

First response: fight that critic! (inner critic criticising inner critic).

Second response: do something nice to relax! (inner child asking for fun escape)

In the meanwhile, I was procrastinating on Facebook… Then I realised it might have something to do with the inner drama…

Me calling my inner adult.
First response: silence…
Second response: maybe…

Me calling out my inner adult from behind my frightened child: I know you are here, let’s do this together. I’ll ask you questions, you can answer.
First response: okay… (inner adult)
Second response: hey, I’m already here! (inner adult)

Me: What can you say to a stressed out parent type?
Inner adult: Thanks for the warning, I’ll take it from here. I know how to handle this.

Me: What can you say to a frightened child?
Inner adult: It know it looks unbearable, but I don’t thinks it’s that bad. Shall we go and have a look together?

Me to my inner adult: Thanks!

I’ve learned this weekend that the most natural response for human beings is to reach out and search for help. If that help doesn’t appear, then comes fight or flight mode. When that doesn’t work, then follows freeze (going numb). Over time, you adapt. If the option ‘help’ gets disappointed too often, you skip it and sooner choose for fight or fight. If that mode fails you too often in creating what you want, then freeze becomes the preferred mechanism of your brain.

If I apply that knowledge to what just happened, I learn some things:
1) Hanging around of Facebook for too long can be a sign of wanting help, or a sign of being in flight mode. It’s nice when I learn to recognise which one it it, so I can work with it. If I long for help, I can decide to ask for it.

I’ve done that one time when I was feeling really, really, really low. I asked my Facebook friends to say something nice about me because I felt crap, and I got the most heart warming responses. And I could tell they meant them, which helped me open up to the feeling that I might be more okay than what my brain was telling me.

2) If I’m in flight mode, I can give in to it – or try to find a way to make it safe to check what’s going on inside me.

In this post, looking at it through the structures of inner critic and inner child, helped me to find the safety to look from a distance and try to understand which thoughts were going on. So I could take it from there.

Now I get it, and no I want to go back to work! The mistake that triggered all this, was calling someone 15 minutes late. I’m glad that I noticed that the stress it caused me was out of proportion, and that I concluded that something was going on. Thanks to my learnings this weekend, I realised I could choose to look at both my inner critic and my inner child from the perspective of compassion. Then I could stop fighting them, and had space for my inner adult to enter the stage.

I used to thing that fighting my inner critic was the adult thing to do. I used to think that being self critical was helpful to force me to get things done. This post helped me realise that my inner adult does not fight, criticise or hide. When it’s there, it listens to the ruckus going on, and responds. And helps to make choices.

I know I should work on the lay-out of this post, but I REALLY want to get my work done. And then I REALLY want to go outside. Priorities! Many thanks if you managed to read the text anyway. The brilliant place/space where I’ve been learning the new things is: http://psentraining.com/

To do or not to do

napo2018button1

I’m going to make fool’s resolution today: to complete both National Poetry Writing Month (#NaPoWriMo, #GloPoWriMo or #AprPAD) and my administration project with the many Piles Of Doom.

The fool part is not that it’s an April Fool’s joke. It means that it’s probably not foolproof to try and do both. But #NaPoWrimo brings a lot of inspiration, connections and fun each year, so I don’t want to miss out on that. And my darn administration is still the project I blogged about during National Blog Posting Month which I never got to finish. I used to be quite allright in doing my administration, but since a couple of years it brings out the worst in me.

I guess I know how to deal with my foolish plans: values, boundaries, keeping an eye out for the drama triangle, taking care of my inner child. Still I fear I might drown. I’ll probably need to revisit every post I’ve written during November (or since), to remind me that I CAN do this. Maybe some of them can be useful for you too, whether you’re in on #NaPoWriMo or your just trying to get something done.

Wish me luck!

If you’d like to follow my creative endeavour, here’s the link to my blog: Unassorted Stories

National Poetry Day Freedom poems part 2: Unprofitable by Van Son Coaching

Bron: National Poetry Day Freedom poems part 2: Unprofitable by Van Son Coaching

This one was written especially for National Poetry Day in the UK. My first ever try at writing about a given theme (freedom). All contributions to the event by Wordsmiths and Silence Breakers can be found on the I’m Not A Silent Poet website. Go and have a look. It’s a fabulous illustration of how different poems can be.

The I’m-annoyed-my-laptop-broke-down sale

And then it said ‘crack’… My laptop screen apparently did not wish to be attached to my laptop anymore. Currently it’s fastened with duct tape, which might last forever. Duct tape is impressive like that. But I saw shiny silver things come loose too, so I think it’s time for a new laptop. Which is a great excuse for a sale.

Summary: Buy From Do it Later to Do it Now in Ten Days for $7 and save $43 dollar. Or e-mail me before September 16 to get a discount on my coaching rates (50% off for up to three sessions).

The “From Do it Later to Do it Now in Ten Days” e-book is a printable course in PDF format. It’s full of worksheets, tasks, first aid kit for when you get stuck, and much more. I’ve made an extended version of my successful online course, and turned it into an e-book. The extended version has a bit more of everything: more background, more exercises, more tips and more fun.

What’s good about the eBook? It puts all the course materials in once place; easy to look through, ready for you to use again and again. It offers practical tips and tricks, but also invites you go beneath the surface and make some deeper changes. Procrastination is a symptom, not a cause.

This is what a reader wrote: “It’s SO good! Really full of worth, actual, quantifiable value, so well thought out, so many bases covered It’s flipping fantastic.”

Looking good! The book is 33 pages and that it looks really, really good 😉 I’m not beating my own drum here, it’s the wonderful work of the designer and the illustrator that I’m referring to.

The special rate you receive now is $7 (normally the course costs $50 in PDF form). It’s valid until September 16th.

Bonus: Facebook group. By buying the eBook you also gain access to the supportive Facebook group (unless you prefer to work alone). In the private Facebook group you can share what’s going of for you and get support. One of the lovely things about the group is that everybody in there knows procrastination from the inside out. And knows what it’s like to wrestle with it.

50% off coachings sessions if you want extra support. You can get up to three Skype calls for a reduced rate. Let’s say 50% off if you contact me before September 16 (2016, for the serious procrastinators amongst you 😉 ) I normally don’t do sales, so I want this to be a good one!

For $7 I hope you feel free to buy the book without thinking. Thinking could leed to procrastination (that’s what happens for me when I consider buying something.) You can get yours here.

The decision to get coaching might take a bit longer. Check out these pages if you want to know more about me or my coaching. Still, do buy the book before you distract yourself 😉