Commitment and accountability

One of the good things about National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) is that your commitment to a post a day invites you to write every day, even when you don’t feel like it. One of the bad things about NaBloPoMo is that you ‘have to’ write every day. And my inner child yells “I don”t want to!!!”. All perfectly according to that darn horse shoe I’ve drawn.

One of the reasons to write this month, was accountability for working on my November project. Well, today is the day I dreaded: I haven’t worked on my project, and I’m not sure I have a valid excuse. I could try to make one and see if you think it’s valid, but who would I be fooling?

I’m too tired at the end of this day, even without working on my project. I’m stressed about it, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to finish it in time. Wednesday will be a very busy day, and I expect to have no time for it then.  I expect to not have the energy to compensate for that on another day.

What will happen if I don’t make my deadline? Nothing. We might even still be able to do our taxes in the month of December, which is what I was aiming for. So I might be able to reach my goal, even when I don’t deliver my planned result on time. So why worry?

I’m too tired at the end of this day, even without working on my project. I’m stressed about it, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to finish it in time. Wednesday will be a very busy day, and I expect to have no time for it then.  I expect to not have the energy to compensate for that on another day.
What will happen if I don’t make my deadline? Nothing. We might even still be able to do our taxes in the month of December, which is what I was aiming for. So I might be able to reach my goal, even when I don’t deliver my planned result on time. So why worry?

I think I have a thing about being committed to commitment. When I have a plan, I feel I should stick to it. When I set a goal, I feel I should reach it. When I tell all of you about what I’m doing, I feel I should at least be doing it!
Today is not the day. My inner critic is ready to throw rotten tomatoes at me and tell me what he thinks of me. I’n not sure I’m willing to listen. My throat aches, I’m tired and I wonder if I’m coming down with the flu. Why make things worse by listening to a bully?

I’m tagging my post now and wonder if I should add ‘procrastination’ as a tag. Which would feel like I declare myself a procrastinator today. I’m too tired to care if my choices today were procrastination or sensible. Or maybe both, why not? So, I’ll add ‘meh’ as a tag. That’s the part about today that feels relevant now.

If you want to read something sensible, I have a post about accountability. A good one, with useful comments.

The fact that I post even when ‘meh’, counts as commitment. #NaBloPoMo day 20 done. Tomorrow is a new day.

4 thoughts on “Commitment and accountability

  1. Pingback: Day Twenty – NanoPoblano – Poem/Poetry – “Patient Man” by David Ellis | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

  2. TooFullToWrite

    I sometimes tell others what my plans are to increase my accountability, in the hope that making my goals known to others will make them more concrete and enforceable. Ultimately though, if you are too tired then it’s pretty impossible to force yourself to do anything until you have more energy.

    I’m actually doing well with reading goals this year, I’m actually committing more time to reading (and reviewing) books for friends than I did last year and it is very gratifying. I get the energy to do that by reminding myself not waste too much time on the internet mindlessly watching shows or playing games. This is me time but I do realise that sometimes I spend a little too much time wasting time when it could be focused on something that is both fun and productive. I feel like the reward comes from the enjoyment of embracing the pleasantries found in the task (hopefully there are enjoyable aspects to be found in it) and feeling emboldened by the progress that I’m making in the books that I’m reading. Time can be a very difficult thing to manage and ends up I think being a juggling act. You only have so much of it available, so the more you focus on how and where you allocate it, the more you will get done 🙂

    I also think if you miss deadlines, you should never worry so long as you are aware you have missed the deadlines and are willing to try to take something forward because it has priority over other things in your life. Deadlines can create stress but I prefer to think of them as reminders that I ought to be doing that task because it is now due/overdue. As long as you start something, chances are you will finish it eventually 🙂

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    Reply
    1. Angela van Son Post author

      Reviews are something I procrastinate on… I want to write The Right Review, write something Smart of Sensible or something that does the book justice (when I care about the book). I like the words you associate with reviews: gratifying, energy, fun… I need to try out that perspective! It makes a lot of sense.

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