I ‘ve got plans, plans to remember

How I looked for ward to ending this series of blog posts with this image:
mortar_board_trans_800

I’m afraid I’m stuck here instead:
Paper pile monster

I have been working on my November project, and have dared to enter a number of my Mount Dooms. I’ve made relevant progress, both in finding the papers I need and in organising them. I also managed to practice self restraint and not bury myself in trying to do everything at the same time.

There are more successes: I gained insight in the workings of my inner critic, managed to look after my inner child, made decisions based upon my values,, and there’s even more I could compliment myself for, like writing a daily blog post even when I was ill.

Still, I feel sad. I had hoped to finish my project tomorrow, and end with a victory: getting my project done, and looking back on succesfully applying what I’ve learned about dealing with myself. I can check off that last one, but the first one won’t happen.

I do have one important victory today: I made a doctor’s appointment. My temperature is rising again, after I felt better yesterday. And I don’t seem to get enough breath, even with clear sinuses. Normally I would have thought this could be a reason to go to the doctor next week. In our house, we tend to call the doctor by the time all other options (patentiently waiting, self medicating, denial) have failed.

Today, my inner adult took care of my thinking:

  • How will if I feel if I go and they say I have nothing to worry about? Relieved.
  • How will I feel if I go next week and turn out to need antibiotics? Stupid.

There’s nothing to gain by waiting.

I like this inner adult of mine 🙂

NaBloPoMo day 29. I would have loved to share things with you that are more directly related to my project, or to procrastination. But this is what I have to offer today, sat in bed with my laptop on my lap (no worries, on top of a book, it’s safe!).

The title of my post was inspired by this great song:

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8 thoughts on “I ‘ve got plans, plans to remember

  1. toetsie

    Sweet sweet hero of mine! Again i loved your coaching in sharing and as this is the last of almost last day i can finally say what i was thinking allll the time: THIS search and written account is a great building block of the book you are going to write for us! Right??!

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    1. Angela van Son Post author

      Thank you so much Chandra. It’s more than two months later now, and my brain has turned this unfinished project into a bruise. I guess it’s my brains way of trying to prevent me to go there again and finish it. Procrastination out of anxiety… I’m working towards restarting the project and ending it. Revisiting these blog post, and bringing back the good memories (all the support I received!) seems a good place to start.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Chandra Lynn

        I read a quote at stirrup-queens.com that I think will be helpful for you: The book you’re writing, the presentation you’re making, the business you’re building, things can’t happen fast enough. There’s nothing wrong with wanting things to happen fast. In fact, that’s one of the main reasons people and companies innovate.

        But we have to realize there’s a difference between a desire to achieve things and impatience. The former helps you, the latter harms you, especially your creativity. The quote came from another blog: http://dariusforoux.com/impatience/. I hope this helps. Peace and light…

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  2. Pingback: Day Twenty-Nine – NanoPoblano – Poem/Poetry – “I Do The Opposite Of What People Tell Me To Do” by David Ellis | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

  3. TooFullToWrite

    You have achieved a lot of amazing victories and milestones throughout this month, all of which are very admirable. Also, I like making crucial decisions based upon what you mentioned above, if nothing is gained by waiting and you have nothing to lose then it can be much easier to decide on the appropriate course of action and act clearly and decisively on that instinct, giving you the best possible outcome to the situation 🙂

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  4. Pingback: To do or not to do | Stop procrastinating now!

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