An inner critic might never be satisfied

It looks like yesterday’s ‘meh’ was a sign of me getting ill. I have a sore throat, a head ache, a cold sweat when I move, annoying things like that. Yet, I worked for an hour on my project, even though I’d given myself sick leave. You’d think that made my inner critic cheer and clap and admire me determination. Not at all.

Somewhere in me it’s grumpin’, complaining how that chore I started isn’t fully under control yet. Moaning that I worked too hard and didn’t stick to my planned time box or boundaries.

I’ve written a post called done is more fun than perfect. My inner critic doesn’t agree. It just always finds fault with me, no matter what I do…

Actually, that’s not entirely true. If I had read my own post before I started working on my project, I probably would have stopped sooner. Not when EVERYTHING is done (my usual, unspoken goal), but when I noticed it was draggin’ me down.

If I had stopped in time, I would be proud now about what I got done. I would be giving myself credit for working when I’m not feeling well. And applauding myself for stopping in time.

Instead, there’s moaning and complaining and telling me off going on. My inner critic always knows how to find me when I’m off balance… and is not likely to retreat voluntarily.

In a minute I will run a hot bath. I’ll take my cold, my headache, my inner critic and a good book with me. I’ll soak (everything except for the book), and float in warm comfort for as long as I feel like it.

Obviously, my inner critic doesn’t think I deserve a bath. Truth be told, I don’t think my inner critic deserves a bath. Yet I’ll take it with me, and it can see where it goes from there. I’m just not going to fight. It can leave whenever it wants to.

And I’ll not wait for it to compliment me that I got #NaBloPoMo day 21 done 😉

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6 thoughts on “An inner critic might never be satisfied

  1. MindOverMeta

    I totally relate to the inner critic. I’m not sure that anything I do is ‘good enough’ and god help me if I dare to take a break or cut myself some slack, because the inner critic will be there metaphorically beating me with a stick! I hope you feel better soon 🙂

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  2. toetsie

    And.. maybe you can put some Thich Nhat Hahn on your Inner Critic: Breath in, and feel how hurt he/she is, breath out see it as it is.. or: “”Breathing in I know that anger has manifested in me; breathing out I smile towards my anger.” This is not an act of suppression or of fighting. It is an act of recognizing. Once we recognize our anger, we embrace it with a lot of awareness, a lot of tenderness.”

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  3. Pingback: Day Twenty-One– NanoPoblano – Poem/Poetry – “Wild Card” by David Ellis | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

  4. JJ Carolan

    Oh Angela, oh, so true. It’s a great way to know your inner critic – it IS never satisfied! People often do have that question: How do you know the difference between excellence, and an inner critic. I love how you’ve answered it here.

    I want to thank you for your offer to share my program, Inner Critic Obedience School, with your readers. This is a 6-week deep dive into the heart of the inner critic, so it no longer comes between you, and your dreams. You can learn more about it over here at http://www.innercriticobedienceschool.com – enrollment is open, we begin March 16th 2018!

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