It was really weird yesterday, to stop without doing any work at all, just thinking! And talking, because I talked about my plans (and fears) with my partner.
I was totally right about stopping when I still felt okay though. When I went outside for a walk, I noticed I was feeling some pride. I had started my project, instead of giving in to my longing to procrastinate about it one day longer. Just one day… You can guess what could have happened the next day: still not the right day to start, due to… (no matter what, there’s always something).
Instead, I faced my fears and started. And I started wisely!
You know what I normally do, which is one of the reasons I dread this project so much? I work until I’m totally beat. After that, I don’t feel satisfied, I feel frustrated. I don’t feel that I accomplished something, my brain is totally stuck on everything that’s not finished. It races like mad, it’s in total overdrive. I don’t know how to relax, and I feel stupid.
One of the triggers for procrastination is when one dreads the outcome of the task at hand. So it makes sense that if I expect to go slightly mad, I feel a lot of dread. Very uncomfortable dread.
I’ll use this blog to stay conscious of what I’m doing. And share what works, and what doesn’t work (for me, it can be completely different for you).
My first success: I started.
My second success: I stopped in time and was able to feel satisfaction.
My third success is that I got started with actual doing today. I’ll probably write about that tomorrow, it’s time to step away and relax now!
Lot’s of exclamation marks. I mean all of them 🙂 This is my second post for #NaBloPoMo, even if both were written on the same day. It’s now day 4, so I’m two post behind if I want to catch up.